Be Bully Free by Catherine Thornton

Author:Catherine Thornton
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784505837
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2017-04-01T00:00:00+00:00

This is one bullying situation where understanding the causes of bullying behaviour can help the victim cope with the situation. This understanding will also help Arlie realise that to address the issue will take more than a short-term intervention. Neil’s bullying of Arlie is a learned behaviour from his father and has become embedded as a result of a lifetime of parental modelling. In fact, Neil may not even know that his behaviour is bullying; it may be the only way he knows how to interact with people.

Parents who try to motivate their child by being sarcastic and disdainful can affect the child’s self-esteem and self-belief. Furthermore, if a child learns how to treat people from the example of a bullying parent, they are likely to grow to be a bully as well, and may have a hard time developing healthy relationships.

So perhaps choosing to take a more passive approach and ignoring Neil’s behaviour is the best strategy. It is hoped that Neil will see that his taunts have no effect and his bullying behaviour should decrease.

What Arlie may not know is that when Neil gets older his bullying behaviour is more likely to result in:

the abuse of alcohol and drugs

getting into fights

vandalising property

dropping out of school

having a criminal conviction

being abusive to his own family.

The predicted long-term quality of life for a bully is not good.

In this scenario it would be beneficial for Arlie to focus on his game and even perhaps feel sadness for Neil and his aggressive father.

Key points to remember

Bullying is nearly always a learned behaviour – and often from the bully’s parents!

Sometimes ignoring the bullying behaviour is the best strategy.

As bullies get older, their lives are often problematic.

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